areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
