Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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