i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
