another moral hangover. fuck.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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