Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
