I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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