I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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