why didn't you poke me back
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize