So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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