dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
