Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
