It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize