I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
