i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
