I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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