Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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