You're completely useless in the revolution.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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