I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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