Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
