this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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