Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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