so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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