so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
