Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
