ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
