Got a toothbrush?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
