Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
