i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
