The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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