I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Someone signed my nipple.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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