I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
