if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
