So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
