id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
someone owes me an orgasm
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
