K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Can i not drive my cunt home
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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