and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I love having hate sex.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
