Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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