We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
