Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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