I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
