just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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