I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
