Yo dont text me then not text me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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