i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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