Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.

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(+44): View more from England

phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...

Fav 25 4953 1155
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.

Fav 25 5107 1740
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(408): View more from California

I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...

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(217): View more from Illinois

yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think

Fav 15 1576 783
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(415): View more from California

We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.

Fav 3 1446 718
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(937): View more from Ohio

They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night

Fav 6 2190 704
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(970): View more from Colorado

Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.

Fav 2 551 384
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(323): View more from California

I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.

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