She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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