Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
