quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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