he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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