Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.

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(303): View more from Colorado

hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"

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(616): View more from Michigan

he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".

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(314): View more from Missouri

WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT

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(714): View more from California

I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake

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(914): View more from New York

Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?

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(757): View more from Virginia

I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.

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(907): View more from Alaska

why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?

(1-907): View more from Alaska

dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems

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