every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
