Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
