if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
