they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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