i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
