worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
