Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
