STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
