just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
