somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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