i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
