She said her name was "party"
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
