Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
