God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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